Dear Killian,Mom cried alot today. Every day is hard. Going to work is no fun. You always send me off with a heart-breaking "Momma don't go to work." It tears at my heart as I leave you girls. You and Olivia put your heads in the window, wave and blow kisses till I round the corner. "Momma YOU HOME!" Is the first thing I hear when I come home. I love your voice. So Killi today Mom is sorry. I was at work all day. When I came home it was time to go to a school activity for Jackson. So I got you ready and the 3 of us headed out. I couldn't pay alot of attention to any of you individually. It was busy and very crowded. As we drove home, you fell asleep. I got you out of your carseat, and you laid your sweet sleeping head on my shoulder. It was then that I realized it was 7:30 and I had no real time with you today. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know that one day you will know why Mom has to work. It is for you, because I love you! Just remember you are home with Daddy, and he loves you soo much. Your such a big girl, and I am so proud of you. I Love you ten! (hold up your ten fingers)
Love you,
Mommy
5 comments:
Wow. That was heartwrenching. She is beautiful, and no doubt knows that her amazing momma loves her!
Sweetie, like I really needed a good cry tonight. I wish I could put into words how strong I think you are. You are amazing and I look up to you so much. I know how hard this is for you, but I know your family is so lucky to have you- someday your kids will know why you had to do this and they will love you more for it. We just keep praying that Rich will be able to get fixed soon- glad he is there to love them in the mean time. I love you!!
She is a cutie and she will ALWAYS know that she is loved! You are a great example to her and to women everywhere!
Ashley, you know this because we are in the same boat right now (and Page knows because she did it too :) reading this post was basically everything that goes through my head every morning. When Grace looks at my with her big gray eyes and say "Mom, why you go to work? Why you want to leave me?" I cry because she just doesn't understand. I get so sad because she thinks I'd rather be at work than home with her. I wish I could explain but I can't. The thing that keeps me going is knowing she's with daddy. On the days Devin has school and she is with Page or Mom or Granny I cry my eyes out (though they are all amazing sitters and I appreciate them SOOOOO much) it just rips my heart out that she isn't home with a parent. To help me deal, I think of how great Daniel and Hailee are, and they know they are loved and Page had to work when they were young. But on crying days like this I just hope and pray stay at home moms appreciate what they have, because I know there isn't anything you and I wouldn't give to be able to do that (and we are so happy for Page because she put in her time like this and now she gets to be home) So Ashley, when I get a multi million dollar book deal, we'll totally help with Rich's surgery :) Until then, I can be your should to cry on and commiserate our collective broke-ness. I love you sis!!!
Such pretty little girls and Jackson is huge (and handsome, too:)) Keep up the good work, little mama.
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